Just wanted to share a parenting moment…

Okay, so for those of us who have children of that “tween” age, we all know what a challenge parenting can be. Well, I just wanted to share something that happened with my daughter tonight. My DD who is turning 11 next month (I cannot believe, by the way; she is 11 turning 18…). She can be a wonderful girl but when she is not, she can be a real fright! You know that famous nursery rhyme, “There once was a girl with a very little curl right in the middle of her forehead and when she was good, she was VERY VERY GOOD and when she was bad, she was HORRID”. This rings true for my DD. Watch out!

Most of the time, as my hubby is quick to point out, I am a pushover, always giving second and third chances. In a way, he is probably right. But, now, I have put my foot down, I said NO MORE! I need to be the “bigger person”. I cannot be afraid that my DD won’t love me, etc. I am the PARENT, not her! I have to take a stand! I need to show that I am in charge! Truth be told, all children need that kind of discipline, routine and consistency. CONSISTENCY, that is really key!

What actually transpired tonight is not as important as the fact that I truly STUCK TO MY GUNS! There was a program on TV that my DD was dying to watch that she knew was going to be on for months now, etc. I gave her a few chances and then, said, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE! Well, she blew it and I did not back down. I did not give in….she wailed so loud I thought the neighbors would come asking if everything was OK. I let her cry it out…I remember I was feisty as a kid too and needed to let out a big cry sometimes too. I do personally think she is too old for this kind of behavior, but whatever!? It is what it is, hopefully she will mature sooner rather than later. 

It was not easy! I did feel so bad for her, but on the other hand, I did not feel I could back down. I made my decision and needed to stick to it! What I DID do, was start a Shared Journal where I write something and my daughter writes me back. It is meant to do nightly. She saw me writing and I think she was wondering why I was “ignoring” her cries…but when she glanced over and saw me writing to her…after she wailed even louder and left the room, I think she realized I wanted her to know how poorly she was behaving that evening and how disappointed I was in her. While she was half correct, she was also probably pleasantly surprised that I wrote many nice things about her too.  I explained that when she talks politely and we have girl time out, I love it. I have fun with her, etc. She was NOT up for writing me back tonight, but I am hoping this will be the start of a really nice concept to do with my DD. It is a good means of communication. NOT all of us (myself included) are so good at face to face discussions. I have an easier time pouring my thoughts out on paper. So, if you need help in this department, it may be a great idea to start a shared journal with your loved one. GOOD LUCK! Let me know how it goes, if you try it out.  One of the last things I did mention in the journal entry tonight to my DD was that ONE DAY YOU WILL THANK ME, I KNOW YOU DON’T BELIEVE THAT RIGHT NOW, BUT SOMEDAY, when you are PARENT, you WILL UNDERSTAND!  I do believe so.

Have any thoughts you want to share about parenting? What works and what doesn’t? Feel free to share here…