Starting Out Small

Here is an important word, CONSISTENCY. Why is it so hard to maintain?

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Now back to the topic at hand, “Consistency”. I was just thinking about my busy hectic life with my family and business and came to the realization, at least for ME that is, lots of what I find difficult in my day to day routine is just that, I don’t have a routine…I TRY to, but each day presents to me new issues and challenges, whether it be a sick kid, a toddler who is having meltdown after meltdown, extreme heat, etc. I feel that I have to adapt to each and every day as its own separate entity. Does anyone else out there feel the same way? I would love to hear your responses.

Most of my friends think I am neat and organized, but I feel the complete opposite. I WISH I could keep my house neat all the time, the way I like it and feel better about, but with three kids and no housekeeper, just good ol’ moi, it can’t always get tidied up as nicely as I would like it to be. I have also realized that I come up with often very good ideas to keep my children on their toes and behaving in appropriate manners by having “charts”. THE INFAMOUS CHARTS! Well, let me tell you, over the years, I have had several different kinds and they all start off great, but then about the second or third week or if I am extremely lucky, the end of the first month, it sort of gets pushed aside and forgotten about. I know that children thrive with DISCIPLINE and C O N S I S T E N C Y, but I often find it so tough!!!!

Why can I not always carry out my plan? I do try…but it is like I run out of steam…am I beating myself up too much or am I doing okay? I know I am a bit hard on myself, but I HATE when I go to bed with dishes in the sink, for a while I was being really good, cleaning the dishes right away, etc. and even keeping the counter tops free of boxes of snacks, kids trinkets, coupons and other miscellaneous papers, but somehow, they creep back up on me so quickly. Why is that?

Anyway, I do believe in my heart that if I was always consistent with everything, my life would run much smoother, but would I really be happier? I think that I would, but I am not so sure. It does not leave too much room for spontaneity or excitement, right? Come on, back me up on this one, fans!

Please leave your comments, ideas or suggestions, I would SO appreciate to hear them. Thanks for reading my blog.

10 months ago

July 17, 2011

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Just wanted to share a parenting moment…

Okay, so for those of us who have children of that “tween” age, we all know what a challenge parenting can be. Well, I just wanted to share something that happened with my daughter tonight. My DD who is turning 11 next month (I cannot believe, by the way; she is 11 turning 18…). She can be a wonderful girl but when she is not, she can be a real fright! You know that famous nursery rhyme, “There once was a girl with a very little curl right in the middle of her forehead and when she was good, she was VERY VERY GOOD and when she was bad, she was HORRID”. This rings true for my DD. Watch out!

Most of the time, as my hubby is quick to point out, I am a pushover, always giving second and third chances. In a way, he is probably right. But, now, I have put my foot down, I said NO MORE! I need to be the “bigger person”. I cannot be afraid that my DD won’t love me, etc. I am the PARENT, not her! I have to take a stand! I need to show that I am in charge! Truth be told, all children need that kind of discipline, routine and consistency. CONSISTENCY, that is really key!

What actually transpired tonight is not as important as the fact that I truly STUCK TO MY GUNS! There was a program on TV that my DD was dying to watch that she knew was going to be on for months now, etc. I gave her a few chances and then, said, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE! Well, she blew it and I did not back down. I did not give in….she wailed so loud I thought the neighbors would come asking if everything was OK. I let her cry it out…I remember I was feisty as a kid too and needed to let out a big cry sometimes too. I do personally think she is too old for this kind of behavior, but whatever!? It is what it is, hopefully she will mature sooner rather than later.

It was not easy! I did feel so bad for her, but on the other hand, I did not feel I could back down. I made my decision and needed to stick to it! What I DID do, was start a Shared Journal where I write something and my daughter writes me back. It is meant to do nightly. She saw me writing and I think she was wondering why I was “ignoring” her cries…but when she glanced over and saw me writing to her…after she wailed even louder and left the room, I think she realized I wanted her to know how poorly she was behaving that evening and how disappointed I was in her. While she was half correct, she was also probably pleasantly surprised that I wrote many nice things about her too. I explained that when she talks politely and we have girl time out, I love it. I have fun with her, etc. She was NOT up for writing me back tonight, but I am hoping this will be the start of a really nice concept to do with my DD. It is a good means of communication. NOT all of us (myself included) are so good at face to face discussions. I have an easier time pouring my thoughts out on paper. So, if you need help in this department, it may be a great idea to start a shared journal with your loved one. GOOD LUCK! Let me know how it goes, if you try it out. One of the last things I did mention in the journal entry tonight to my DD was that ONE DAY YOU WILL THANK ME, I KNOW YOU DON’T BELIEVE THAT RIGHT NOW, BUT SOMEDAY, when you are PARENT, you WILL UNDERSTAND! I do believe so.

Have any thoughts you want to share about parenting? What works and what doesn’t? Feel free to share here…

11 months ago

June 27, 2011

tween parenting consistency discipline routine shared journal

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